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Unhappy Mother's Day: Coping With Grief

Mother's Day force us to realize just how much our lives have been changed since the loss of our Mothers, Aunties, Grandmothers, Mother Figures or even our Sisters. Particularly in the very first year or first few years. Coping with grief during the holiday season, especially Mother's Cay can be very difficult.

Especial when everywhere we turn it's all about the mothers. October and November are known as the time when most folks are getting ready to enjoy family, friends and fun and Mother's Day is the day is just that! Dinner, brunch, church the mall or whatever traditions you have created, there seems to be a constantly reminder that Mother's Day is coming for mothers!I t's the time of year when laughter, tradition, planning and good times are just second nature until tragedy hits, making the day like this one of the most difficult times of year after the loss of a loved one.

Unhappy Mother's Day: Grief Coping Tips

1. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings you may have. Regardless of your feelings, sadness, grief, anger, joy, just allow yourself to grieve.

2. Practice self-care. Exercise is often an antidote for depression but whatever helps you regroup or recharge, do that. Do not turn to alcohol or drugs to self-medicate.

3. Write about your feelings. Writing in a journal is a great outlet for your grief and understanding your feelings.

4. Ask people for help. Asking for help can be difficult but it's it's really important to ask. Even if people aren’t offering to help, ask anyway. Ask for a little patience, ask time, ask for ideas on how to handle the holiday "days", ask for help cooking ...... whatever you need help with, ask for help, you don't have to cope alone.

5. Start a new tradition or do something in honor of your loved one. Take yourself to the movies, cook a special dinner or brunch, heck, through a small get togther, try something new or simply do something that bring you joy!

6. Let yourself off the hook. Don't feel guilty about not wanting to over indulge in all the holiday festivities. Just be honest with yourself and do only what you are up to doing. Remember it is ok to be happy, even a little happy. Let yourself off the hook.

7. Acknowledge your traditions. Decide which traditions you want to keep and which traditions you want to change and perhaps if you want t create a new tradition in memory of your loved one.

8. Volunteer. Instead of sitting home alone think about volunteering during the holidays in memory of your loved one.

9. Seek Counsel. If your grief feels like too much to cope with, seek counsel. Grief counseling is under-rated. Going to visit with a professional specializing in grief, trauma or simply "life" on a whole could be just what you need to cope with ease.

10. Take A Break From Social Meda. The feeds are bound to be full of pictures after picture, post after post, tributes after tribute, songs dedications and people declaring how blessed they are to have their mothers in their lives. This could be a trigger for you or at very least make you feel or more sad.

11. Celebrate. That's right celebrate! Celebrate yourself, your life and oall the things and lessons gifted to you by your mmother or your loved one. Life is to be celebrate regardless. Why not, try it!

Remember is there is no right or wrong way to celebrate after the death of a loved one, just don't shut down. Communicate with the people that love you. Communicate that you are ok or communicate that you are not ok. Regardless of how you may be feeling about the first holiday season, plan ahead. Get support from others wanting to love on you in whatever way you need, and take it easy.

Simeaka Melton, Dear Girls Academy, Inc.

RESOURCES: National Alliance Of Mental Illness 800-950-NAMI

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

800-273-TALK : 800-273-8255

Trusted Mental Health Treatment Center 855-570-9328 MHA-Mental Health America 703-684-7722 : 800-969-6642

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